In this day and age, women over 50 and beyond are getting hotter by the minute. I’m always in awe when I meet women my age who seriously look 10, 15, or even 20 years younger. We take better care of ourselves and that’s great. Of course there are the days when I wake up in the morning look into the mirror and think sjeezz what happened to me looking hot right after getting out of bed? Uugh like you know less puffy and tired. Or when I was 10 pounds lighter. We all get that feeling sometimes. Even the hottest people on the planet have their off days. You know, when you are even too exhausted (menopause) to get yourself together and look a little decent. It’s okay, and for us women it’s normal. We are hormonal beings so let’s give ourselves a break here. Those are the days when I just want to potter around the house in PJs and keep my out-of-control curly hair my hair in a bun. Being a woman in my 50s, it is more of a challenge to feel sexy and beautiful. Lack of confidence can be a thing when you feel bloated, cranky, nervous, or stressed. There is a difference between looking and feeling sexy, and I think the latter is the most important. Feeling it! No matter how I feel, I make an effort to keep that sassiness and sexiness alive. Even on my blah days, if I’m attending an event, a fun party or a date night with my love, I take the time to get myself into bombshell mode. I’m not talking about looks here. It’s an attitude and comes from within.
Sexiness is a state of mind
Back in the day, when I was younger and lived in Los Angeles, I worked as a pole dancer in one of the hottest clubs in Hollywood. This was not just a regular club. It was the nighttime hotspot for the Hollywood in-crowd and elite. This place had the best DJs in town, and the most beautiful and talented dancers performed there. I felt lucky to be able to experience this world and even get through their auditions On a nightly basis, limos would pull up and very famous names in the music, movie, and entertainment industry would visit the club to watch our shows. Talking about an ego boost for us working there right? Walking through the door, it felt like you entered the set of a music video. The energy was electric, loud, and even crazy sometimes. Working as a dancer in Hollywood, I’ve met and danced for almost every celebrity you can think of. I can name them, but I’m not sure if that is the cool thing to do.
I was 26 when I moved to Hollywood and started dancing. From the first time I went on that stage, I had to learn to tap into a sexy mindset to be able to perform. Heck, there was a crowd out there waiting, so it had to be good. I grew up with a classical ballet and jazz dance background, so performing as a dancer wasn’t all too difficult. It was here where I learned to instantly turn on sexiness no matter what my mood was that day. When I felt great, it was easy and it would come naturally. When I was tired, stressed, or even sad, it took a little more from me. Over the years I was able to tune into it within seconds and even on my off days, it would make me feel better to “pretend” I was feeling beautiful and sexy. Your unconscious mind listens to everything you tell it, be it positive or negative. That’s why positive self-talk is so powerful. I still think it was a great experience that I was able to nurture that side of me from a young age. To feel vibrant and youthful while we age, it is key to hold on and nourish some form of sexiness. I still do it to this day.
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What’s considered sexy, is different for everyone. As I’ve mentioned before sexiness is a state of mind. I think it starts with taking great of yourself and your body. Indulge in the things that make you feel good and practice self confidence and positive self talk. Self-care is about treating yourself right. Being healthy, getting enough sleep. Focusing your mind and energy on the positive and lowering stress. Take care of your body and mind and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to feel sexy. Moving your body is major. If you love dancing like I do, join a dance class like Zumba, belly dance, hip hop, or even salsa. Lift weights, do yoga, start running, and get to stretching, climbing, hiking, and shaking. As long as you move. It will get your blood pumping and rewards you with a feeling of accomplishment. Movement makes you feel more in touch with your body, and I think the feeling in touch with your body is the first step to feeling sexy and seductive.
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Dress up a little and take the time!
When you dress the part you feel the part! Yes. even going for that quick stop at the supermarket. It’s easy for women our age to let themselves go. During the Covid-19 lockdowns, I fell into that habit. We were on lockdown in The Netherlands, and what the heck, nobody would see me anyway were my thoughts. It made me feel like a total slob and out of touch with myself. The part that made me switch to a sexy mindset when I was a dancer, was the ritual of taking my time to dress up before going on stage. I shared the dressing room with 15 to 25 dancers per night, and the prepping was more than just getting ready fast. For us, it became a ritual. We were chatting away, eating a light salad, smoking a cigarette (I don’t smoke anymore) while blow drying our hair and applying our eye makeup. It was the time we took that made us transform into seductive beings.
As we get older, we think we can just skip the time and do hair and makeup as fast as possible, maybe because we have been doing it for such a long time that we think we can rush. Now, instead of being in a hurry and slapping on makeup quickly, I always try to take extra time to apply my foundation, eye makeup, lashes, and a sexy lip gloss to feel that inner goddess come alive. I never forget to put on some music too! Loss of confidence is something that a lot of women over 50 struggle with. To regain that confidence, pick outfits and clothes that make you feel great about yourself. Sexy is unique, so just do it your way. There are no stereotypes. You don’t have to be a perfect weight. It can be sporty, classy, trendy whatever you want. Choosing outfit colors that look great on your skin, investing in new lingerie, and a seductive fragrance are ways to build your confidence, and we all know, confidence is sexy!
Confidence Is Sexy. A few instant tips:
1- Start your day as a baddy by finishing your morning shower with icy cold water. Not only is it incredibly healthy for your immune system. This power move gets your blood flowing and you’ll instantly feel on top of the world!
2- When I’m in a hurry and too short on time to rock my curly hair -it takes like a 100 years-. I smooth my hair up in a cute bun and clip in a wrap-around ponytail from Luxury For Princess. Results, instant glam, and a sexy-sleek look in minutes reviving my inner diva!
3- I know it’s sensible to wear flats to and from work. But do your commute in sexy shoes once a week. A chick sauntering in 3-inchers is almost impossible to ignore, and collecting admiring looks is such an ego blast. *Fashion tip: Platform heels are the trend this season!
4- Listen to confidence booster affirmations videos or podcasts to access your inner sexiness and confidence. You can find fabulous videos on YouTube.
5- Turn on your power playlist. Listen to the songs you can’t help but shake your ass to. Music is the way to get your inner bombshell fired up!
6- Tuck a herbal tea bag in the corner of your underwear drawer. Slipping into yummy-smelling undergarments makes the routine of getting dressed, sensual
7- Change the parting of your hair. It will totally alter your appearance, and people will shoot you flattering “Did she do something different?” looks all day long
8- Maintain a hot-chick posture when you’re sitting. Stick out your chest, straighten your back, and drape one leg over the other
9- The ultimate bad-girl gear? Leather. Rock a bickeresque cuff with your sweetest party dress for a naughty-but-nice look
Thanks for reading!
xo Tamara Chloé
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